My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
