So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
