Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
