I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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