Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
