Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
