I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
