After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
