Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Small penises have feelings too.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
