I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
