Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
