when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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