im about as happy as oj after his trial
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
