hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
