Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
