Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I need water and some morals
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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