Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
