I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
