hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
