Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Randomize
