Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
