so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
