: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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