no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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