i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
