so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
