Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
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