I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
