I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
