Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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