I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
