And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
