ya dads aren't the best wingmen
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
