whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
