im gay
i know
yea but for you.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
