This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
