What did we do last night that was yellow?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
