Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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