Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
