Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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