so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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