He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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