My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
