lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
