Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
