I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Did I show you my penis last night?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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