I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
