On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
