I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
