You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
