after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
