Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My cat gives me a boner
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Found the puke drawer
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
