do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
