I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize