You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
