When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
