A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize