Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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