what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
