Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
